Woke up late, it was quarter to noon,

just thought I had to be at Fenway soon.

Gotta get drunk, before the game begins

4.25 Draughts costs a lot when your drinkin.

About to go,

and near went blind,

damn yankees fans showin' their behinds.

I went inside to get my yankees suck shirt,

and my yankees beatin' stick.

I bailed outside with my Sox cap on,

Nomars gonna knock one without question.

I jumped on the T and paid my fare,

it's better than payin 20 bucks to park there.

Watchin the game at FENWAY--

I was sittin in the bleachers on a hot sunday,

it was strike strike,

Put up another K,

Pedro's workin on his low E.R.A.

Sitting in the bleachers in my 14 dollar seats,

eatin fenway franks, and cracker jack treats.

Went to concessions for another beer,

knuckle-heads out there said 2 drink MAX

Yankees talkin Shit, won't ya know,

So i reached back like a good fan,

and slapped that HO.

Now Jeters at the plate,

and he's startin to shout,

so Pedro threw a fastball,

and struck his suck-ass out.

Cuz Pedro's on the mound,

and he's gonna throw hard,

Comin' talkin that trash,

and he'll pull your card.

Knowing nothing in life,

than to swing at it,

Don't talk spanish Pedro,

I can't comprendo it.

(Lots of spanish words)

Yankees will always suck my ass,

Pedro's on the mound, he's throwin his spanish Fly. Red Sox- Yankees Jokes Roger Clemen$, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Yankee$ flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity," God said. "This is very special, not everyone gets a house up here." Roger felt special, indeed, and walked into his house. On his way up to the porch he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a three- story mansion with a bright red and blue sidewalk, a 50 foot flagpole with a Red Sox flag flying on it, and a Red Sox logo in every window. In the front yard was a sign reading 'Welcome To Beantown.' Clemen$ looked at God and said, "I don't mean to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I won three World Series rings, more awards than I can remeber, and I won 300 games." God answered, "So what do you want to know, Roger?" "Well, why does Pedro Martinez get a better house than me?" God chuckled and said, "Roger, thats not Pedro's house... its mine." (forwarded by Joelle Carlberg) New York schoolteacher explains to her class that she is a yankee$ fan. She then asks her class to raise their hands if they are yankee$ fans. Everyone in the class raises their hands except for one girl. The teacher looks at the little girl with surprise and asks, "Gabriella, why didn't you raise your hand?" Gabriella then answers, "Because I am not a yankee$ fan. I am a Red Sox fan and proud of it." The teacher could not believe her ears. "Why then are you a Red Sox fan," she asks. "My Mom is a Red Sox fan and my Dad is a Red Sox fan, so I am a Red Sox fan, too," she replies. "Well," says the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, "if your Dad were a moron, and your Mom were a moron, what would you be then?" "Then," Gabriella smiles, " I would be a yankee$ fan." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------